Playground Uprising


What A Headache
February 28, 2007, 12:40 pm
Filed under: Children, Family, headaches, Life

I GET migraines.

I use to say I GOT migraines. They went away when I became pregnant with Mac. I suppose the Lord knew he was just about to supply us with an 8lb 9oz, permanent headache and wanted us to have the strength to repress the strong urge to flee.

Enter baby Charlie.

And BANG, their back, the urge to flee as well as the throbbing head pain, and though not a MD, I am pretty sure that consuming large doses of Advil on a daily basis is not conducive to a healthy or lucid lifestyle.

So today I began the search for a neurologist. I used to have one of these folks on staff but he had the audacity to relocate to greater downtown Roanoke, a fine area, but not quite fine enough to make the trip in search of relief. Shortly after his departure, I found another doctor, but he decided to balance his successful neurological practice with political office and now is happy to fit you in “on say May 17, 2008” …. I think by then I will also need the help of a therapist … so today I began the search anew.

Step One:
Look at insurance company’s website and try to find a “doctor in my area.” The site does not work using Explorer or Netscape but HOTDOG …. we have a winner with Safari.

Step Two:
Enter your criteria.
Woman within 20 miles of my house.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP, no luck, try again.
Apparently women have left the headaches to the men, seems appropriate since they are certainly a primary cause.

Step Three:
Re-Enter criteria.
Someone with a medical degree; Internet degree perfectly acceptable.
Ding Ding Ding ….. we have some winners with only minor pending malpractice suits.

Step Four:
Call these winners.

Call #1 ….
“Oh yes, sorry, Dr. A is now a chiropractor.”

Call #2 …
”Hi this is the Sleep Disorder Clinic (I am of course thinking this is an omen from above), Dr. B has since gotten out of neurology.”
(as has Dr. Roanoke, Dr. Politics, and Dr. Chiropractor … I wonder if these guys meet for lunch)

Call #3 …
“Hi this is the Emergency Service Hotline, the office is now closed. How can I help you?”
“Well it is 1:30 in the afternoon, shouldn’t the office be open.”
“Yes, but they are closed.”
“Helpful” (they must be out to lunch with the above candidates).

Call # 4 …
“Are you aware that Dr. C is a neurosurgeon and does brain surgery and if you don’t need surgery why would you call him? You need a neurologist not a neurosurgeon. Aren’t you aware of this?”
“Apparently not. By the way where did you receive your impressive customer service training?”

Call # 5 …
“Well Dr. D only sees patients that have a referral.”
“My insurance company does not require referrals.”
“Well we do because we need to make sure you actually are in need of a neurologist.”
“Oh, I am a total head case ask any of my friends or family”
“Let me see what I can do and I will call you back” (promptly crumbling the phone message as she shoots for the trashcan)

And I await the call that I imagine will not come and go look for the Advil.

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2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Dorothy!
In addition to our other similar maladies [i visited Dr. W last week and she mentioned we were giving her a reputation b/c of our similar and strange pregnancy twists!], i am a migraine sufferer too and due to my recent poetry and song writing extravaganza, my sister is worried i have a brain tumor! in any case, my kind and calm and understanding primary care physician recommended a neurologist she likes and respects [and who apparently is kindly to neurotic writer types] and i am seeing him May 1. Call me if you want his name and contact info!

Comment by Heather

Ummm…any demerol, xanax or other mood altering drugs laying around…call me if you need some!

…mike

Comment by the4murrays




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