Playground Uprising


Old Houses
February 22, 2007, 2:17 pm
Filed under: Family, Life, old houses

cracks.jpg

Old houses are bit like children.

We love them; we take care of them; and we try to stay on top of their aches, pains, and bouts of disobedience.

Gloria, as in “glory, glory, glory halleluiah the old girl hasn’t fallen down yet,” went through a bit of a summer facelift. It was not on the scale of a raised roof or renovated bathroom, this was a step down from a tummy tuck and more in line with the Ashley Simpson nose job. But instead of thanking the surgeon for her enhancement, which in this case took the form of enough household paint to change the color scheme of a forgotten and outdated country, Gloria cracked up. And I don’t mean cracked up like various family members have over the years or me following one of those mornings of being peed, pooped, thrown-up on, and just generally disrespected but literally cracked up.

And these have been the gifts that keep on giving. Like they start graciously in the westward corner of the bedroom with just a bit of smile and before you know it they have giggled their way across the doorway into a full grimace that screams, “yeh … so what are you going to do about it now … sucker.”

So in an effort to reign in Gloria’s free wheeling spirit we elicited the advice of a structural engineer who offered helpful tidbits like, “Hmmm, quite a few houses in your neighborhood lean against each other and develop cracks as if sitting on a shifting fault line, but it is usually not a problem until it is.” And I am thinking, “STOP, right there, the palpitations are becoming noticeable and the twitches more frequent.”

So for this week, ignorance will hopefully prove bliss (with the help of a bottle of Advil) and we will allow Gloria to call on the support of neighbors and exert her independence through medieval noises and creative line drawings, and I will try to convince her other tenant to resist the urge to put our realtor’s number on speed dial.

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