Playground Uprising


Code Red
February 9, 2007, 9:24 pm
Filed under: Children, parenting

Today has been a bit slow as evident by Charlie’s Code Red being the entertainment highlight of my afternoon.

For those of you not familiar with Code Red let me explain…

Though, this peculiar force of nature manifest itself differently in different babies and some unfortunate adults, here is how it just played out in our house.

1. Charlie’s face turned the color of the red apple Mac just flung down the spiral staircase
2. Charlie’s blank stare became determined as if thinking of how he will spend my hard earned money during his teenage years
3. Charlie’s muscles tensed as mine do each time Mac runs wildly up and down the aisles of Target and Greg reflects upon private school tuition
4. An odiferous melody, one not yet captured by Airwick, filled our living room and threatened the wellbeing of the entire house
5. I jumped up to get the camera, not wanting to miss this Kodak moment, knowing it would be the highlight of a future rehearsal dinner

Greg and I first began to appreciate the true humor of Code Red while out to dinner with close friends, not yet appreciative of childhood talents, as then baby Mac proceeded to turn the shade of a turnip and grunt out what sounded like the lyrics of Old McDonald Had A Farm. As our friends began to worry that Mac was suffering from a mild stroke or seizure, Greg and I chuckled as neighboring tables excused themselves to report the violation to the EPA. One would think that a certain level of maturity comes with parenthood, but it is my experience that the only way to survive the trauma and remain in the free and un-incarcerated world is to adopt a significantly warped view of reality in which bodily functions take on the entertainment once reserved for pre-children comedy clubs.

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